Official guidance has now been given as to the new title for employees of the fire and rescue services of the UK.
"It has long been recognised that the title "FIREMAN" was not acceptable in times where both males and females worked in the fire service. This led to the term "FIREFIGHTER" being the common accepted title for employees of the UK fire and rescue services. In order for the fire services to fall in line with politically correctness on a national scale, a review was done in order to ensure that the title Firefighter was still relevant and the findings were as listed below.
The term "Firefighter" would suggest that employees regularly extinguish fires, however since the introduction of smoke alarm fitting by firefighters, they no longer extinguish fires according to Mr Blair's government. Incident statistics do show that there are some events which occur where heat and smoke are present and therefore the term "Thermal" shall replace the term "Fire"
The term "Fighter" sounds aggressive and may seem thuggish to some more delicate members of society. Therefore it was deemed that another expression should be considered, several alternatives were suggested, warriors, centurians, gladiators and soldiers were just a few of a range of alternatives with "Soldier" being the favourite addition to the term Thermal, and hence the expression
"THERMAL SOLDIERS"
This suggestion was then put to Mr Blair for his approval, Tony wasn't very impressed with it, he explained that he has enough problems dealing with other issues with soldiers due to his pack of lies over the Iraq and Afghanistan affair and future issues with Thermal Soldiers and their modernisation plans may become confusing. After talks of great length, he has decided that the term "Soldiers" should be replaced with the term "Peacekeepers"
From this day forward we shall now officially be known as
"THERMAL PEACEKEEPERS"
