Twist locks on final exit doors.

[David Rooney]

David, I'll now have to report you to the RSPCA for encouraging the mistreatment of a St Bernard by not confirming that your proposals included adequate sustenance for the animal

Sorry Wiz ... and the St Bernard.... or is it A St Bernard......??

Should have clarified.... The Dog would obviously require full training, food and water provided by competent persons appointed by the responsible person having consulted all relevent and interested parties. It would also no doubt need counselling from a highly trained bunch of "specialists" should it ever be called in to action to carry out the job it's been trained to do.

There would have to be adequate signage above the heated kennel warning people to keep clear, and not feed the dog in case it has a nut allergy.... and all residents would need to have rabies jabs "just in case".

But rest assured, if someone needs rescuing, as soon as the dog has been prepped, method statements provided, risk assessments submitted, queried, returned, rewritten, approved, signed off and all PPA has been adorned, and provided it doesn't conflict with one of those way out extremist religious holidays .... like Chrismas...... the dog will be there first thing in the morning.

oh yes........ please leave the thumb lock in the open position.........

[Mr. P]

Eco friendly too. Keep you warm in winter!

[Wiz]

David, I'll now have to report you to the RSPCA for encouraging the mistreatment of a St Bernard by not confirming that your proposals included adequate sustenance for the animal

Sorry Wiz ... and the St Bernard.... or is it A St Bernard......??

Should have clarified.... The Dog would obviously require full training, food and water provided by competent persons appointed by the responsible person having consulted all relevent and interested parties. It would also no doubt need counselling from a highly trained bunch of "specialists" should it ever be called in to action to carry out the job it's been trained to do.

There would have to be adequate signage above the heated kennel warning people to keep clear, and not feed the dog in case it has a nut allergy.... and all residents would need to have rabies jabs "just in case".

But rest assured, if someone needs rescuing, as soon as the dog has been prepped, method statements provided, risk assessments submitted, queried, returned, rewritten, approved, signed off and all PPA has been adorned, and provided it doesn't conflict with one of those way out extremist religious holidays .... like Chrismas...... the dog will be there first thing in the morning.

oh yes........ please leave the thumb lock in the open position.........

David,

I trust that when you consider the applications for the position of door control safety/security supervisor (grade K9) that you remember the rules of 'inclusivity' and bear in mind that the organisation needs to more fairly reflect the community being served and I think your pre-conceived ideas of employing a St Bernard might be unfairly excluding other breeds. I have the vision of an ethnic lesbian mongrel bitch sitting in a wheelchair supervising the door with the thumb lock, as being most suitable for the job. (ps please ensure the fire alarm sounders are adjusted to a high pitch whistle sound to suit the new employee)

[nearlythere]

David, I'll now have to report you to the RSPCA for encouraging the mistreatment of a St Bernard by not confirming that your proposals included adequate sustenance for the animal

Sorry Wiz ... and the St Bernard.... or is it A St Bernard......??

Should have clarified.... The Dog would obviously require full training, food and water provided by competent persons appointed by the responsible person having consulted all relevent and interested parties. It would also no doubt need counselling from a highly trained bunch of "specialists" should it ever be called in to action to carry out the job it's been trained to do.

There would have to be adequate signage above the heated kennel warning people to keep clear, and not feed the dog in case it has a nut allergy.... and all residents would need to have rabies jabs "just in case".

But rest assured, if someone needs rescuing, as soon as the dog has been prepped, method statements provided, risk assessments submitted, queried, returned, rewritten, approved, signed off and all PPA has been adorned, and provided it doesn't conflict with one of those way out extremist religious holidays .... like Chrismas...... the dog will be there first thing in the morning.

oh yes........ please leave the thumb lock in the open position.........

David,

I trust that when you consider the applications for the position of door control safety/security supervisor (grade K9) that you remember the rules of 'inclusivity' and bear in mind that the organisation needs to more fairly reflect the community being served and I think your pre-conceived ideas of employing a St Bernard might be unfairly excluding other breeds. I have the vision of an ethnic lesbian mongrel bitch sitting in a wheelchair supervising the door with the thumb lock, as being most suitable for the job. (ps please ensure the fire alarm sounders are adjusted to a high pitch whistle sound to suit the new employee)

Dear Administrator. This poster in sexist. What is wrong with a homosexual door supervisor? I'm afraid I cannot think of what the male gender of Bitch is but he's is discriminatory in that respect also.
Off with his head I say. Or is it a her?

[afterburner]

Wiz .... what bear? the bear in mind I mean?
You've discounted THE St. Bernard on the grounds that being dead terminates contribution and effectiveness. Does the Pope know about this re-classification of THE St. Bernard's usefulness?
Then A St. Bernard became the answer, complete with combustible container of highly flammable liquid arond it's neck. Then a bear creeps into the reckoning.
Lastly we're at the level of needing a homosexual supervisor, but does this apply to the bear also?

[Wiz]

Sorry Wiz ... and the St Bernard.... or is it A St Bernard......??

Should have clarified.... The Dog would obviously require full training, food and water provided by competent persons appointed by the responsible person having consulted all relevent and interested parties. It would also no doubt need counselling from a highly trained bunch of "specialists" should it ever be called in to action to carry out the job it's been trained to do.

There would have to be adequate signage above the heated kennel warning people to keep clear, and not feed the dog in case it has a nut allergy.... and all residents would need to have rabies jabs "just in case".

But rest assured, if someone needs rescuing, as soon as the dog has been prepped, method statements provided, risk assessments submitted, queried, returned, rewritten, approved, signed off and all PPA has been adorned, and provided it doesn't conflict with one of those way out extremist religious holidays .... like Chrismas...... the dog will be there first thing in the morning.

oh yes........ please leave the thumb lock in the open position.........

David,

I trust that when you consider the applications for the position of door control safety/security supervisor (grade K9) that you remember the rules of 'inclusivity' and bear in mind that the organisation needs to more fairly reflect the community being served and I think your pre-conceived ideas of employing a St Bernard might be unfairly excluding other breeds. I have the vision of an ethnic lesbian mongrel bitch sitting in a wheelchair supervising the door with the thumb lock, as being most suitable for the job. (ps please ensure the fire alarm sounders are adjusted to a high pitch whistle sound to suit the new employee)

Dear Administrator. This poster in sexist. What is wrong with a homosexual door supervisor? I'm afraid I cannot think of what the male gender of Bitch is but he's is discriminatory in that respect also.
Off with his head I say. Or is it a her?

Nearlythere, it was only a vision not a prerequisite. The manager of this home for the bewildered is already mistreating me, please don't give him/her any more reasons to punish me.

[nearlythere]

Did you know that an anagram for Saint Bernard is A Bander Nits (A Band of Nits).

[Wiz]

Wiz .... what bear? the bear in mind I mean?
You've discounted THE St. Bernard on the grounds that being dead terminates contribution and effectiveness. Does the Pope know about this re-classification of THE St. Bernard's usefulness?
Then A St. Bernard became the answer, complete with combustible container of highly flammable liquid arond it's neck. Then a bear creeps into the reckoning.
Lastly we're at the level of needing a homosexual supervisor, but does this apply to the bear also?

Unfortunately a bear cannot be considered for a K9 grade due to an agreement on such made with the union in 1971. It was never in my mind. Along with much else.

[Wiz]

Did you know that an anagram for Saint Bernard is A Bander Nits (A Band of Nits).

Unfortunately nits do not have the required strength to turn the thumbwheel lock (even a band of them) otherwise they could, of course, be considered for the job.

This really is a slow week.

[afterburner]

the band of nits could live on the bear though!

[nearlythere]

the band of nits could live on the bear though!

You could have a band of bare nits even.

[Wiz]

the band of nits could live on the bear though!

You could have a band of bare nits even.

Sorry, but I forgot to explain that employment (special situations) sub-committee covered this on item 3 of the agenda at their recent meeting, and after a three hour mass debate (n.b. childish comment on this term is expressly forbidden by the home manager so as not to excite  matron) it was decided that the ideal candidate for the position would have to be hirsute (adjective: having lots of hair, especially on the face or body)

[David Rooney]

Unfortunately a bear cannot be considered for a K9 grade due to an agreement on such made with the union in 1971. It was never in my mind. Along with much else.

Wasn't this repealed under the RRFSO

Anyway wasn't K9 the original dusty bin in Dr Who..... 3..2...1......

I'm afraid I cannot think of what the male gender of Bitch .

Errrrrrm....... Biatch...... Michael Barrymore......?

[afterburner]

Are the Bare Bear Nits Band going on tour? Releasing a album of all their hits? or do they limit themsleves to sound bites?
Could Chewbacca be considered the ideal candidate from the specification detailed by the Matron above? (hirsute, strong enough to turn the lock, sexually ambiguous, ethnically challenged.)

[Wiz]

......Could Chewbacca be considered the ideal candidate from the specification detailed by the Matron above? (hirsute, strong enough to turn the lock, sexually ambiguous, ethnically challenged.)

Chewbacca did apply for the position. His qualifications, as you rightly point out, are perfect. Unfortunately no-one could understand a word he said at the interview.