Firenet get together?

[PhilB]

can I come??...I promise not to be controversial!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[kurnal]

We have 8-10 members who seem anxious to get togther if only to re-inforce the North South divide and bury hatchets in each other whilst using the primitive toilet facilities on the windy plains of Gloucestershire and dribbling ice cream over each other. Hey and Jokar can demonstrate his setting the water cooler on fire trick. So as it appears it will be a small event lets talk dates and venues.

I would suggest June or September in a hotel with an all day bar, a small conference room facility, kick off at lunchtime with a buffet style lunch, a couple of guest speakers (ideas or offers welcome ?) then a decent meal and pint or two in the evening followed by an overnight stay to sleep it off.
Anyone care to build on this?

[Clevelandfire]

I can build on that. You obviously were never put in charge of organising stag nights were you?

11.00hrs Check in
12.00hrs Bar / Pre lunch drinks / Introductions
12.30hrs Lunch
13.30hrs Guest Speaker TBA
13.31hrs Break (Bar)
14.00hrs Guest Speaker 2
14.01hrs Break
14.30hrs Guest Speaker 3
14.32hrs Break (Siesta) or Snooker
1600hrs  Pre Dinner Drinks
18.00hrs Dinner
19.00hrs Presentations
19.30hrs Bar
20.00hrs Comedian and chorus girls
21.00hrs Tales from Drunken Fire Officer
21.30hrs Kareoke
22.00hrs Minibus arrives to go Lap dancing Bar
23.00hrs Hit Town after being thrown out of lap dancing club
00.00hrs Curry House
02.00hrs Retire

Has anyone considered whether or not past members would be intrested in coming. Members who some of you may still be in contact with but don't tend to post much here these days.

Colin Todd springs to mind, maybe people like Marty Brandrick as well who I noticed got a fleeting mention on these forums earlier today? Retired consultants / fire officers etc

[kurnal]

Clevelandfire I think you have slipped up there- instead of an itinery or a good day out you appear to have posted the work routines for a certain North East fire Brigade.

But it'l do for starters. Do you have anyone in mind for the role of comedian, chorus girls and drunken fire officer?

[Clevelandfire]

Comedian - Peter Kaye - should be pretty cheap to hire

Chorus Girls - The Roly Pollys

[PhilB]

We have 8-10 members who seem anxious to get togther if only to re-inforce the North South divide and bury hatchets in each other whilst using the primitive toilet facilities on the windy plains of Gloucestershire and dribbling ice cream over each other. Hey and Jokar can demonstrate his setting the water cooler on fire trick. So as it appears it will be a small event lets talk dates and venues.

I would suggest June or September in a hotel with an all day bar, a small conference room facility, kick off at lunchtime with a buffet style lunch, a couple of guest speakers (ideas or offers welcome ?) then a decent meal and pint or two in the evening followed by an overnight stay to sleep it off.
Anyone care to build on this?

Sounds good to me Kurnal and as much as I like Cleavelands suggestions, if we do use have a couple of speakers some members could use this as part of their CPD.

Then we can put our flares, platform shoes and anoraks on and go disco dancing.

[Clevelandfire]

Then we can put our flares, platform shoes and anoraks on and go disco dancing.

Well you can PhilB, i think the rest of us like to go out dressed as normal human beings. You tend not to get pointed at so much that way.

[AnthonyB]

Comedian - Peter Kaye - should be pretty cheap to hire

Doing his 'Keith Lard' Fire Safety Officer character of course.......

[Clevelandfire]

Comedian - Peter Kaye - should be pretty cheap to hire

Doing his 'Keith Lard' Fire Safety Officer character of course.......

My thoughts exactly Anthony B

[Midland Retty]

We have 8-10 members who seem anxious to get togther if only to re-inforce the North South divide and bury hatchets in each other whilst using the primitive toilet facilities on the windy plains of Gloucestershire and dribbling ice cream over each other. Hey and Jokar can demonstrate his setting the water cooler on fire trick. So as it appears it will be a small event lets talk dates and venues.

I would suggest June or September in a hotel with an all day bar, a small conference room facility, kick off at lunchtime with a buffet style lunch, a couple of guest speakers (ideas or offers welcome ?) then a decent meal and pint or two in the evening followed by an overnight stay to sleep it off.
Anyone care to build on this?

Count me in, Mrs Retty said I'd be allowed out.

Please try and convince Mr Barry that Flares aren't the way forward would you though Uncle Kurn

[Mr. P]

The main reason PhilB wears platforms is to keep his bits dry on the golf course. They are pretty high though to keep him out of puddles harm! And the flares? Well just in case he needs the life boat...

[Midland Retty]

The main reason PhilB wears platforms is to keep his bits dry on the golf course. They are pretty high though to keep him out of puddles harm! And the flares? Well just in case he needs the life boat...

Could you define what you mean by "his bits" Mr P?

[Mr. P]

Not on this 'public' forum!  But suffice to say whilst walking between shots, on a course in Kent, he disappeared in a puddle. The olde nursery rhyme 'Doctor Foster went to Gloucester' must have been written for Phil... but Phil has stayed put in the 'shire.

[PhilB]

Not on this 'public' forum!  But suffice to say whilst walking between shots, on a course in Kent, he disappeared in a puddle. The olde nursery rhyme 'Doctor Foster went to Gloucester' must have been written for Phil... but Phil has stayed put in the 'shire.

Apologies chaps but I've only just seen this posting, I must therefore clarify a few things.

Firstly, it was not a puddle...it was a ditch a very deep smelly ditch!!
Come on now we've all done it haven't we??? thought an algae covered ditch was a green gravel path...no???...oh well just me then....but it was getting very dark!

Second point it was nothing like Dr Foster as he only disappeared up to his middle...I dissappeared completely and was only saved by some quick thinking MOD Fire Officers who managed to drag me and my flares out despite being doubled up with laughter, I don't really see what was so funny.

Now let that be the end of the matter and I propose that we don't play any such dangerous sports at our get together.

[Clevelandfire]

Thats settled then

The "Phil Barry Green Gravel Golf Masters Cup" it is

Ive phoned a few Defence F&RS lads I know and they're happy to provide "safety marshalling" for the tournament and Noel Edmounds has agreed to donate the flares for each competitor from his extensive collection.

First prize is awarded to the player with the cleanest flares

The loser, that is to say the player with the most water in his undergarments has to buy everyone a round of drinks. I'd start saving now PhilB.