Fire Safety Related Tunes

[Wiz]

........Prof Kurnal if you would like to send me your address, bank account details and sort code Ill have the cash prize wired to your account immediately......

Prof Kurnal if you would like to send me your address, bank account details and sort code I'll have it emptied in seconds and take Matron on a trip of a lifetime

[CivvyFSO]

Your Pussy's Glued To A Building On Fire - John Frusciante

[johno67]

Have this one on me Civvy -

Your Pussy's Glued To A Building On Fire - John Frusciante

And the fire safety message is?

[Chris Houston]

Don't mix Felis catus with adhesives, presumably!

[johno67]

Don't fix it using glue!

Apparently velcro works well, as does rubbing it really fast and hard then using the static to stick it to glass (it must be scrupulously clean though (the glass that is)).

Please don't try this at home, expecially from height!!! (no animals were injured in the making of this post)

[BB]

John67

You need to get out more. What you doing on line, you should be on holiday chilling and not glued to your computer. BB

[johno67]

Just having a break from trying to get hold of next door neighbour's Felis Catus, can't seem to catch the minx!!

[Midland Retty]

Your Pussy's Glued To A Building On Fire - John Frusciante

How very dare you!

[BB]

I always find a dab of old spice behind each ear lobe helps. Give it a try!!!!!!!!

[johno67]

I told you I can't catch her, how am I supposed put old spice behind her ears. I'm a Hi Karate man myself though.

OMG it's turned into a carry on sketch!

[Midland Retty]

ooooo matron!

[PhilB]

I firstly must give a special mention to a very special person - Mr Phillllllllllllllllllllip Barry - who's shanninigans at compiling lists of that gravity and scale means he gets a very special award.

The award is an all expenses paid trip to sunny  Cleveland for expert urinating in the wind tuition and Colin Todd Baiting followed by a full week wearing a dunce cap and standing in the corner until he is very sorry indeed.

He nearly redeemed himself with "Inner Room"  but Im not having any of it - Mr Barry did you sit trawling google for those? or did you already have a list at hand? One must get out more Mr B

OK I admit it, I cheated it's amazing what a quick google can turn up. But inner room was good wasn't it?

As I've come clean can I please be excused the week in Cleveland?.... I'll take the expenses though, how much would a week in Cleveland be worth??, no on second thoughts add the additional 37p to Kurnals cash prize he is a pensioner after all.

[Clevelandfire]

Thanks to all of you who sent in your suggestions. It didnt half make me chuckle! A rare pained smile also appeared on Mrs Retty face before she cracked her make up!

I firstly must give a special mention to a very special person - Mr Phillllllllllllllllllllip Barry - who's shanninigans at compiling lists of that gravity and scale means he gets a very special award.

The award is an all expenses paid trip to sunny  Cleveland for expert urinating in the wind tuition and Colin Todd Baiting followed by a full week wearing a dunce cap and standing in the corner until he is very sorry indeed.

He nearly redeemed himself with "Inner Room"  but Im not having any of it - Mr Barry did you sit trawling google for those? or did you already have a list at hand? One must get out more Mr B

Johno67 you nearly won - but strictly speaking I did say that the songs would have to be famous - but some nice suggestions anyway thank you very much they will certainly come in handy. You get second prize - a car (sticker)

Chris Houston gets the Bodgitt award for nominating the most obvious and frankly least pro- fire safety anthem of all time - (Prodigy Fire Starter) - advocating arson isnt funny or clever Mr Houston and you should know better.

The winner has to be therefore the Prof, who's tireless dedication to fire safety shone through. He didnt need any fancy long lists to impress anyone, it was a simple, straight to the point orgy of pop related brilliance which brought tears to my eyes.

Prof Kurnal if you would like to send me your address, bank account details and sort code Ill have the cash prize wired to your account immediately.

Joking aside thanks to everyone for that - the training department and myself are most grateful!

I think you have far too much time on your hands Retty personally

[kurnal]

........Prof Kurnal if you would like to send me your address, bank account details and sort code Ill have the cash prize wired to your account immediately......

Prof Kurnal if you would like to send me your address, bank account details and sort code I'll have it emptied in seconds and take Matron on a trip of a lifetime

Sorry Wiz your too late Mrs K and Miss K have already seen to that.

If you are taking Matron out take a tip from me, spray a whole tin of my favourite fine perfume, Brut, all over  yourself and she wont be able to keep her hands off you.  Just be a bit careful in some areas though else you will be whistling the tune "ring of Fire" as you walk down the street arm in arm.