DD
Eyup mi duck! We talk proper in Derbyshire too.
Mah bruther Brian allus wair a cross grained mortal. Dunner axe mey why, burree cum inter t'wold scraytin and ey allus witteled lahk an ockud babbi. If wey ad cumpny ey'd ide be'ind t'sofa or goo an sit on t'stairs. T'daft twollop dossna show is fizzog. Ah cun mind it wair allus mey as ad ter do t'wok, cos ey ayther cudna or wudna, and ey allus boggered it up anyah. Ah'd ay ter dab in else ah'd gerra cleat, burree wuddna lissen. Mi mam wair too soft ; shey coddled im ter much. Ey wair brillyunt at gerin issen inter trubble. Ey'd gerrup in t'mornin an gerron aht ter plee wi'aht ote t'ate. Ey'd goo all over t'village uptut rec., dahn inter t'woods, gerrin inter faights. Wun dee ey brok a winder an that Mrs 'enshaw cum trar aas all of a mucksweat. All dreesed up shay wair lahk a thoty bob piss-pot. 'Ey up, sorry yowl coppit nah.' Ah sez t'im, but mi mam made aht it wair an accident an mi fayther ad ter pay up.
Ey dint arf ate skewl. Fost dee, after ey'd cum ome fer is dinner mi mam sez it wair time to goo back. Ey lowked gone aht at er, 'Av ah gorra goo agin, ahv bin.' That fair knocked is duck off. Wen ay lonned ter rate, ey once writ is name Brain, so wey all ad a good laff.