Author Topic: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed  (Read 40032 times)

Offline kurnal

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #30 on: February 20, 2013, 08:33:21 PM »
That company won the contract for emptying our dustbins last autumn. The local papers are full of complaints week after week.

Good job the fire service is not an emergency service with standards to meet any more.
« Last Edit: February 20, 2013, 08:44:33 PM by kurnal »

Offline Mike Buckley

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #31 on: February 21, 2013, 10:06:08 AM »
This came up on our local news:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-21524059

It seems Cleveland is jumping on the wagon as well.
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Offline colin todd

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #32 on: February 21, 2013, 09:47:39 PM »
Michael, if you think that Retters and I are going to buy Cleveland you have another think coming. For a start, Retters couldnt even find Cleveland if you gave him a blank map of the UK.  You can take the boy out of the West Mids, but you will never get west mids out of the boy.  Oh no, we are only interested in met brigades. Furthermore, have you any idea, how long it would take Retters and I to get from Union Street to Cleveland even if we did have the faintest idea where it is. By the time we got to London Bridge, we would have no idea which way to point our FRS Bentleys.
Colin Todd, C S Todd & Associates

Offline SamFIRT

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #33 on: February 22, 2013, 07:33:22 AM »
And to make a serious point regarding the potential privatisation of public services such as FRS

Quote
Michael, if you think that Retters and I are going to buy Cleveland you have another think coming. ...Oh no, we are only interested in met brigades.

An thereby hangs the problem. Businessmen (women) considering buying public assets will only ever be interested in profit and the devil to the hindmost.

Sam

Offline Mike Buckley

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #34 on: February 22, 2013, 02:33:25 PM »
Colin

By the time we got to London Bridge, we would have no idea which way to point our FRS Bentleys.

North, back towards civilisation!

I think it would appeal to you set just between North Yorks and Tyneside, a little hobby fire brigade on your way back to Scotland.

Retters will have no problem with his accent, they can't understand it in London and they won't be able to understand it up there either.
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Offline colin todd

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #35 on: February 22, 2013, 06:51:38 PM »
The problem with Scotland Michael is that the blighters in the Scottish fire and rescue services care a lot about the safety of the public and service to the community, and they will not be selling off the family jewels to Retters and me. Besides which, Retters and I would not like their policies of attending all calls to AFAs before the flames are spotted by a passer by coming out of the windows and the roof.

Retters and I dont want troubled by fires in sleeping risks until people have put theirs and others lives at risk by spending a hour or two frigging about and then phoning us to say that the place is burning to the ground and half the residents are trapped. Then, we might concede to turn out.  We like the English system too much to head for scotland, except for our vacations, where retters has never worked out why, in H&I, they still fondly refer to the english tourists as febs.

You say this Kleevshire place is somewhere near T&W and North Yorks. These are both FRSs with whom I have enjoyed a good relationship. Would we be able to buy all three and then amalgamate them, making a few hundred people redundant in the process?
Colin Todd, C S Todd & Associates

Offline Mike Buckley

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #36 on: February 25, 2013, 10:10:33 AM »
You say this Kleevshire place is somewhere near T&W and North Yorks. These are both FRSs with whom I have enjoyed a good relationship. Would we be able to buy all three and then amalgamate them, making a few hundred people redundant in the process?

Colin,

I think you are beginning to get the idea. Look at the bigger picture, if you are buy these and London then you can steady acquire the remainder of the English Brigades. Standardisation of equipment, leading to increased purchasing power and lower costs, rationalisation of command structure etc. etc. There is a good training college up for sale as well!

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Offline jokar

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #37 on: February 25, 2013, 12:43:03 PM »
Sounds like Monopoly!  But only of real benefit if you buy those that are linked together.

Offline Mike Buckley

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #38 on: February 25, 2013, 02:33:42 PM »
Yes but like Monopoly you have to build your empire!
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Offline colin todd

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #39 on: February 25, 2013, 08:10:36 PM »
I like the sound of this think big idea, Michael.  However, all traning will be carried out at the real fire services college in scotland. The other one can be knocked down and used as retirement accommodation for all the chiefs we make redundant.

Do you remmeber when the computer industry rubbed their hands with glee as every little thiefdom of a fire brigade came and asked for tailor made command and control software, different from that of every other thiefdom.  And can you remember the debacle of the system for the greatest fire brigade in the whole of london, soon to be renamed Rettrers and Toddys fire and pizza delivery service.
Colin Todd, C S Todd & Associates

Offline Mike Buckley

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #40 on: February 26, 2013, 09:46:52 AM »
Yes Colin, only be careful about the training in Scotland and knocking the other one down, otherwise when Scotland errects the border controls following independence, Toddy and Retters English Fire and Pizza Delivery Service (TV aerials and plumbing fixed) could be in political bother. Unless of course you are running it as an off sore company based in the Cayman Islands!
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Offline nearlythere

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #41 on: February 26, 2013, 12:37:13 PM »
Yes Colin, only be careful about the training in Scotland and knocking the other one down, otherwise when Scotland errects the border controls following independence, Toddy and Retters English Fire and Pizza Delivery Service (TV aerials and plumbing fixed) could be in political bother. Unless of course you are running it as an off sore company based in the Cayman Islands!
Do you think Mike that Hadrians Wall might be repaired and made a little higher? To keep them out or in as the case may be.
We're not Brazil we're Northern Ireland.

Offline Mike Buckley

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #42 on: February 26, 2013, 01:35:17 PM »
Why not rebuild both Hadrian's Wall and the Antonine Wall, give us a bit of a buffer zone.

Mind you there are so many down here perhaps we ought to use the Welsh method as used on the Severn bridges, charge them to come into England but no charge to leave.
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Offline colin todd

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #43 on: February 26, 2013, 08:31:57 PM »
Worry not.  My good friends in the scottish fire and rescue services will always have a welcome for me and my english fire brigade, as scots never look down on those who, by birthright, are less fortunate than themselves. And they will wlcome Retters as my friend, particularly as they wont know what he is saying and he doesnt know what a feb is.
Colin Todd, C S Todd & Associates

Offline nearlythere

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Re: Government bid to privatise fire and rescue services revealed
« Reply #44 on: February 26, 2013, 09:17:23 PM »
Worry not.  My good friends in the scottish fire and rescue services will always have a welcome for me and my english fire brigade, as scots never look down on those who, by birthright, are less fortunate than themselves. And they will wlcome Retters as my friend, particularly as they wont know what he is saying and he doesnt know what a feb is.
Do you think they might see him as your pet Martian?
We're not Brazil we're Northern Ireland.