FireNet Community
FIRE SAFETY => Fire Risk Assessments => Topic started by: colin todd on July 18, 2013, 02:00:40 PM
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We have vacancies for additional consultants, the work of whom would be mostly (but not solely) FRAs. If anyone is interested or knows of anyone, please contact me.
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Gizza job!
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Sorry, Kelsall, we dont need salesmen. The expertise of the consulting team sells itself. I believe that Warrington Domestic Appliances may be looking for people to sell TVs if thats any help. They may want a proven record in sales though.
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I am qualified I am! IFE approved training. I can do fire risk assessments I can Gizza job go on Gizza job.
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Nah, if you joined us we would never know if you could have managed to sell certification to a second taker.
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Where abouts/ which areas Colin?
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Hi Monsieur P. We need at least two extra consultants. Open minded as to where, though at least one has to be in south of england.
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Gizza job! Go on I can do it I can work to SP 205 I can, go on Gizza job, I can work in the south I can work in the north go on Gizza job!
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Dammit, If only I had the ejukation and wasnt just a fire alarm monkey, I would join the boys from the blackstuff in that well known phrase, Gizza Job, I can do that.
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Sorry, Kelsall, we also need people with good interpersonal skills. No, no no no not the job for you I fear. Did you apply to Warrington Domestic Appliances as I suggested.
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I treat you with the contempt you deserve but actually I am really good with clients. Go on Gizza job! I can be nice to nice people I can. I can do PAS 79 fire risk assessments I can. I can tick a box go on Gizza job.
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It must be easy to be good with clients when you have only managed to find one for what should be a popular scheme. Do you think that tells you something. No, I suppose you would not even notice.
Why dont you try NSI. They are racing ahead with SP 205, and having you as their salesman would give the rest of the CBs a chance to catch up, based on your current sales record.
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"Good travels at a snails pace" Gandhi
I suppose selling 205 might be fun, I would imagine it would be like selling sweets to children; easy!
Perhaps those at NSI could give me a tip on how to sell a nice healthy salad to the kids in the sweety shop line. I would expect they would suggest I sell sugary treats like they do and give up on the good stuff. ;D
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I should think that, like ourselves, NSI dont need fancy salesmen like you, because the quality of their technical staff and their product sells itself. How is your application to Warrington Domestic Appliances doing? I am looking forward to reading your posts on the Home Entertainment forum, telling the TV industry what a good TV is after 5 minutes at WDA.
PS: Re snails
“The whining schoolboy, with his satchel
And shining morning face, creeping like snail
Unwillingly to school.”
Shakespeare. (But not our Ian) I cannot be sure, of course, but I am bound to wonder whether Willie S was talking about people who tell the world all about fire risk assessments and how they should be done, never having done one.
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I don't know where you get the idea about me telling people how to do fire risk assessments comes from! I will leave that to you and the clones you train including 205 assessors, according to someone who has just been assessed by one.
I merely used my many years experience of assessing and evidencing practical competence at degree level to design a system for certification of fire risk assessors. Transferable skills Colin, transferable skills!
I can't believe how two faced you are, you have called the scheme I designed the gold standard in several forums.
I withdraw my Gizza job request, I just couldn't cope with the daily forced worship of the Todd god!
The commandments according to Todd, the Lord of all things fire.
1) thou shalt not worship any false gods, Todd almighty is the one true god and you shall love only him. (He does)
2) thou shalt not covert thy neighbours risk assessment template. PAS 79 is the one gospel.
3) thou shalt not listen to false prophets, they are blasphemous and know not what they talk about.
4) thou shalt not take the piss out of the Todd or ye shall forever feel his wrath.
5) thou shalt vote for the one true most influential person in the IFSEC fire sector awards. Any person not doing so shall be condemned to hell and damnation.
These 5 commandment are available to purchase from BSI (7 commandments in a couple of years and then 9 and so on and so on and you will have to buy it as its the word of Todd)
Sorry Colin I am in a playful mood this evening!
I think I will brush up my sales skills ; Todd knows I need to!
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Todd in heaven! I owe everyone an apology it does look like I high jacked this thread. I had promised to leave that to Colin and only respond to his attempts at having a dig. I have let myself down... May Todd forgive me!
I hope you have your fire risk assessors now Colin.
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I didnt say that there was anything wrong with your scheme. Merely that you are singularly unsuccessful at selling it and it was not primarily your company scheme I was talking about anyway. Anyway BAFE SP 205 appears to be the scheme of choice. There is no point in Warrington Domestic Appliances buying an obscure TV of supposedly high quality when you cant sell the TVs and no one wants to buy them anyway. I think you should withdraw your application to WDA, as they have problems enough I assume in the current recession wihtout you adding to them.
However, thanks to you keeping the thread at the forefront of attention, we have some good looking applications. It will all help the success of our company, which has just had a record turnover in the last financial year, exceeding the record set the previous year and the record set the year before that. When we toast the success, we will spare a thought for you, but also toast the success of BAFE SP 205 and its 19 certificated firms. Will Kurnal make the top 30? Watch this space.
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Doubt it Col. Cant sing or play an instrument.
And I dont need to aspire any higher in terms of turnover - thanks for your contribution to my ample pension.
Much as I love you, you do sometimes sound just like Captain Mannering.
Dont tell him Retty.
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I didnt say that there was anything wrong with your scheme. Merely that you are singularly unsuccessful at selling it and it was not primarily your company scheme I was talking about anyway. Anyway BAFE SP 205 appears to be the scheme of choice. There is no point in Warrington Domestic Appliances buying an obscure TV of supposedly high quality when you cant sell the TVs and no one wants to buy them anyway. I think you should withdraw your application to WDA, as they have problems enough I assume in the current recession wihtout you adding to them.
However, thanks to you keeping the thread at the forefront of attention, we have some good looking applications. It will all help the success of our company, which has just had a record turnover in the last financial year, exceeding the record set the previous year and the record set the year before that. When we toast the success, we will spare a thought for you, but also toast the success of BAFE SP 205 and its 19 certificated firms. Will Kurnal make the top 30? Watch this space.
::)
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I was sure you told us all, Big Al, that you were just waiting to see which scheme you would run with. We are all waiting with bated breach. Will it be NSI that has the honour, will it be SSAIB what about ECA Certification, or you could be the second person in the whole Universe to get your company sorted by the MIghty Kel, or you could be a Level 10000000 fire risk assessment co under the IFC scheme.
God, I cant stand the excitement.
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When the time is right Colin, when the time is right. I have undertaken to meet the FIA deadline for members and I will.
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I treat you with the contempt you deserve but actually I am really good with clients. Go on Gizza job! I can be nice to nice people I can. I can do PAS 79 fire risk assessments I can. I can tick a box go on Gizza job.
I was a client of yours Kel. I wouldn't be so quick to pat yourself on the back.
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Oh Thomas, do tell us about it.
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I treat you with the contempt you deserve but actually I am really good with clients. Go on Gizza job! I can be nice to nice people I can. I can do PAS 79 fire risk assessments I can. I can tick a box go on Gizza job.
I was a client of yours Kel. I wouldn't be so quick to pat yourself on the back.
Oh do change the record Piglet; you were treated very well during the certification process. Your complaint was without grounds and if it did have any legs, you would have taken it to UKAS as you were asked to do at the time; on several occasions. If you choose to keep bleating about something that you refused to take to the appropriate authority, then all you do is show yourself up.
Piglet "I got ‘mugged’ in the street in 2001 they took my phone and wallet, the bastards got away with it”
Kelsall “That’s awful; did you report it to the police?”
“No! I knew their name, address and postcode, I knew exactly what they took; the time, date, location, I even have records to prove it” said piglet.
“Why didn’t you report them?” Kelsall asked.
“Well, the ‘muggers’ actually asked me to, in several very formal correspondences; they begged me on one occasion to go and see the police. But the truth is I didn’t own the phone or the wallet; they belonged to someone else and the owners didn’t mind handing them over. In fact one even offered to pay me for carrying them in the first place.” bleated Piglet.
Kelsall “Oh well perhaps you may want to let it go! Tell me was there a legal warning included in the letters?”
Piglet “Oh yes absolutely they made it clear I should talk to the police or make sure I wasn’t overheard retelling my version of the story.”
See piglet nice to nice people!
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What I dont understand is what Piggers being mugged has to do with television sets, BAFE SP 205 (the scheme of choice for the fire risk assessment community as I like to describe it) or my need for additonal consultants as a result of all the work that we keep getting, probably because we are a BAFE SP 205 company.
Another director of our company was once mugged in Edinburgh of all places, and he, being a nice person, said to them to take the money but could he please keep his credit cards, to which, as I recall the story, they conceded. I bet muggers arent that nice in places like, say, Cheshire.
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That's why you're a bad salesman Kel. You only noticed one issue which I had to tell you about in the first place. In all honesty I couldn't be bothered taking my issue any further as your scheme got what it deserved.
You would have thought considering the amount of consultants I have and that I was tempted once to do your scheme that you would be sending me christmas cards and inviting me to golf.
Your tatic of constantly having a pop at one of the most well respected consultants in the UK ON A PUBLIC FORUM and replying with such hate to anything I post literally astounds me.
We have about 30 kids in telesales every single one of them a better salesman than you.
If I caught any of them acting the way you do they would be out of the door faster than you can say SP205.
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:-\ piglet I think you will find that Colin gets what he gives and no more or no less. He is incredibly knowledgeable and does some amazing things but that doesn’t excuse his vicious treatment of others, which I am sure many have witnessed. Kelsall quite enjoys stabbing the old man with a sharp stick every now and then, although his skin is very thick; it might just tone down his narcissistic attacks in the future. Please don’t be misguided though; there are plenty of people in the profession that hold the same opinion of Colin as kelsall does. Rest assured piglet in a professional capacity I would never treat Colin the way he treats others, it just isn’t in my nature. Indeed Colin will confirm we have never behaved like children in the real world; we are always very polite to each other. The same way you and I are civil when we meet, the views of kelsall are only fun and frolics, don’t take them to heart.
Unfortunately piglet you are correct I am a very bad salesman; telling the truth gets you nowhere fast. I bow to your superior sales experience and can only marvel at the way you guild the lily.
I merely attempted to point out that you had the chance to complain and the way you grumbled and grumbled on about the injustice of it all; it seems incredibly hard to comprehend that you couldn’t be bothered to take it further! Your grievance however was absolute nonsense!
You can’t please all your clients all the time; 205 the ‘industry choice’ may be more suited to your company. I dare say that not everyone in the UK likes all the products or services you provide and you get complaints from time to time. Which I am sure you deal with professionally as we did with you and your complaint. So really you shouldn’t throw it in to the thread unless you expect a rebuttal. Granted it was harsh ……..but true!
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I can feel Kurnal frowning.
Colin - Any one hired yet?
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Not yet, Thomas. We have a number of good applications and expressions of interest, and now its finding the time to do the interviews as both of we directors tend to be ships that pass in the night. However, we have two interview slots this month, and hope to make progress rapidly thereafter. Still interested in any other applications though, preferably from people who come with personal recommendations or prior knowledge of ourselves. Am I to take it that you will not be supporting Kelsall's application, which presumably is his exit strategy when his bosses find out the image he has created and the dismal lack of success of his wee scheme? Anyhow, thanks as always for your interest and support. Dont worry about Old Kel too much. When I give a fig as to the views of a non technical salesman who has been in the profession 5 minutes, I will give up and go play drums in a pub.
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Proper drums Colin, I hope? Not the big Air things that seem to have been banged alot lately!!!
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Gents
May I suggest that exchanges of this nature on a fire safety forum throws no one in a particularly good light, regardless of status in the world of fire safety, experience, salary or otherwise.
Kurnal surely this thread needs to be put to bed. The constant quipping here doesn't show Firenet in a positive way to new members who may be looking at our threads and feel put off from joining / posting as a result.
We all have opinions, varying levels of experience, or certain ways of doing things. Non of us can claim to know it all, or have the monopoly on how to do things well. We can be passionate about our opinion without resulting to playground slanging matches.
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I agree with Midders, much as I enjoy a good slanging match, provided it doesn't descend to abuse, the main part of the forum is not really the best place for it.
Perhaps a new section for members only could be created, call it The Arena, or Colloseum where members could happily insult each other without messing up the main part of the thread. Any discussion that is boiling up nicely could be moved there and it would save chasing all over the forum trying to savour the retoric.
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This part of the forum is members only Mike. I don't think there's a place for a thread like this anywhere on the forum to be honest.
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I wouldn't worry too much. Internet Bulleting Boards often gather this kind of argy bargy.
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I am not worrying, its just when the cat fight starts and its handbags at fifeteen paces, its nice to know where to get a grandstand view.
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Monsieur P, Of course proper drums. I really cant even get on with these electronic kits. They dont feel the same.
With regard to this thread, I have no idea why Kelsall hijacked it with his nonsensical comments, but as it has led to the thread keeping in the public eye, and some good applications, I should be grateful to him. I may even buy a TV from him , though I assume that the beef that Thomas has is the Tv he bought only showed adverts for a certain certification body. I like TVs that show all the channels.